cheap social connections.

We live in a time where social media makes connection easy. In an age where you'd think loneliness wouldn’t be an issue, here we are in an epidemic of isolation, a growing 'I can do it by myself' mentality, and deep online connections on life support.

Let's talk about trends gaining popularity.

People are celebrated for cramming in as many video calls as possible in a virtual marathon for 'connection.'

Then there’s a guy who boasts about people listening to him because he has followers. Although a closer look revealed he’s a surface-level reply guy who hosts Spaces to inflate his following.

Can you feel it? My blood is boiling with a bitter taste in my mouth because this is what building connections online has been reduced to:

surface-level 'connections' to many over deep connections with the few.

Somewhere social media has trained us to think the more connections mean more opportunity, mentors, and/or success.

It falls under the idea 'bigger is better,' which is a marketing expression associated with consumerism — but people aren’t things you collect to say ‘I know so and so’ or look at as transactions.

Here’s the problem I see with that ideology:

When you focus on trying to get to know ‘everyone,’ you spread yourself thin, and the ability to nurture those relationships and understand their needs and how you or someone in your network can help them is almost non-existent.

It's like they are speed dating and crossing their fingers hoping their 'connect' doesn’t disappear.

Truthfully, would you enjoy being on the receiving end of one of those networking tactics where you are just a number?

Anyway, if you’ve read any of my most recent newsletters, you know I’m basically having a hard time business-wise in general.

But for the last two weeks, a friend who started as a social connection reached out to help me unasked. He’s even offered to make introductions from people in his network to help me and checks in to make sure I’m okay.

That is a connection.

We got to this point because our relationship didn’t start with a follow and end with a single zoom call. It wasn’t even transactional.

It is a mutually beneficial relationship where we support one another because we want the best for each other.

That is what online connections are missing these days — depth.

Connections have to be nurtured and maintained over time.

Your network is a support system, a rescue team when you need it, and people who are strong where you are weak.

It’s not a numbers game trying to find the 'right' people. (I’m only a little salty)

You have people like Justin Welsh and Mr. Beast who dedicated themselves to a small group of people to build with.

Justin Welsh engages with a few interesting people a week. Mr. Beast started building his YT with 3 dudes where they roasted each other's work.

Personally, my network is half the reason I’m still in the trenches trying.

Now maybe I’m preaching — who knows, but here's my two cents.

Maybe your journey to building connections feels cringy, but you are trying to use ‘modern’ techniques.

You don’t have to spend ungodly hours trying to connect with anyone with a pulse. You can find a few people you genuinely enjoy that align with your beliefs and are smarter where you feel pretty dumb. Then create friendships you don’t secretly hate and still find opportunity.

Who knows, you might actually be social on social media.

Here’s to navigating the shallow seas together.