Directionless, Wantrepreneurs, and Stubbornness

2 minute read time

Today’s issue:This weeks newsletter is an unedited journal entry mid-crying session trying to work through feeling directionless while pursuing starting a business. This is for anyone wrestling with self-doubt. You won’t find any action tips or question this week. It’s only purpose is to help you feel less alone and crazy. Let's call it radical vulnerability.

Today I’m shooting blanks.

I hear people talk about, ‘never give up’. Simplified words to inspire motivation but often there’s no guide for ‘keep going.’

At the moment, I’m sitting outside of a garage of someone else’s home trying to figure out what I’m even doing with my time. The idea of business is lofty and it’s beautiful — but meaningless if you have no idea.

All I know is I want to help founders see their own ability. The vehicle or how is what blinds me. I have conversations. I ask people. I lurk in the comments. And yet I’m standing here with nothing. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even doing anything at all or if it’s an illusion of work.

I’m tired, but too stubborn to quit.

For me, a current wantrepreneur (for now), I wonder if the reason I keep going is because even though I have no direction — what I do well is supporting others in their pursuits. Whether it be an early adopter of someone who wants to build, helping them tweak the way they see their success so they believe in themselves, or doing in-depth research on someone and/or asking them questions that get them to think.

I hold onto the idea that I’m not useless. I hold onto the idea that there will be a breakthrough even if when is elusive. I hold onto the fact that incredible people further than me have my back and routinely ask me how they can help of their of volition.

Maybe I don’t want to let go of the idea that there are people who need me as soon as I can get my head out of my ass long enough to find what it is.

Or maybe it is a collection of all these things with my stubbornness.

So today I might have broke down (yet again) but I refuse to quit because there’s an arena called entrepreneurship I want to join.

Anyway, I’ve been told if nothing else I inspire people. Although how is lost to me in this seemingly never-ending spiral — but if I can be fodder for you so you can feel a lil less lonely then so be it. I don’t mind as long as you the reader is helped someway.

Note for those who are interested: Honestly, the past week wasn’t productive. I started the accounts I mentioned last week, but one got restricted day one, and well… things went downhill from there. It's easy to make excuses, but that wouldn't do either of us a favor.