Let's talk about the "D" word in solopreneurship.

Read Time: 7 minutes.

This newsletter is longer than the other ones but I couldn’t shorten it. Everything in here is important.

I'm sitting here, fingers hovering over the keys, with a weight on my chest. You know that feeling of wanting to say so much but not knowing where to start?

It's not the glossy image of success. This is a chapter from my life - current one.

Hi, I’m Nichole. I have clinical depression. To be candid, I’m also a workaholic. That flourishing business? Well, it’s a work in progress. And to be brutally honest, I sometimes struggle with the concept of 'taking it easy'.

I almost didn’t write ANY of that. Not because I fear judgment, but because the glossy facades of success have somehow convinced us that we're only worthy when we're winning.

Here in these emails we can be vulnerable. Hell, you can just email me what’s going in your life and I will listen if you need that.

And maybe someone reading this — maybe you — needs this honesty today.

Disclaimer: I’m no therapist with a fancy degree that says, ’this is why you should listen to me’ hanging on the wall.

I am a human being with depression trying to navigate the world of solopreneurship and sharing what I have learned with you.

Still reading? Cool.

At the beginning of your journey did solopreneurship sell you on the idea of financial freedom, time, and opportunity to help people — mainly your family? I can admit I glossed over all the caution signs that said starting a business is hard and the bits of podcast interviews where they talk about struggle from alcoholism to suicide.

Perhaps you have had those moments where you've stared blankly at your screen, wondering if it's all worth it. Or those nights when the weight of your choices presses down so hard, you can't breathe.

For months, I've had mornings where the mere act of leaving my bed felt like scaling Mount Everest. There have been nights when the silence of my room echoed the chaos in my mind, questioning every choice I've made, including starting a business.

It would be easy to pinpoint the reason as a series of unfortunate events in my personal life or that time I prioritized money over connections, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. But deep down, the truth is harsher. It's not a situation that depressed me; it's a relentless shadow that refuses to let go.

I'm pretty sure we all could point a finger at something in our life and use it as an excuse why we are depressed instead of just admitting depression

But we don't talk about it, do we? Discussing depression is almost taboo. It doesn't resonate with the glam world of solopreneurship, but pretending it doesn't exist won't make it disappear. And as I talk to more friends in this space, I see how huge it is.

Now, why am I sharing this? Not for pity, and definitely not for validation. It's because, during my darkest hours, I wished someone had told me it's okay. It's okay to struggle, to feel lost amidst the crowd of seemingly thriving entrepreneurs. It's okay to admit that some days, your biggest achievement might be just getting out of bed.

According to Google there are 31 million entrepreneurs in the US. 30%? That’s how many entrepreneurs in the US have depression. If that number looks low to you that is:

9.2 million entrepreneurs with depression just in the US.

Yet, we hide our true selves, wearing a mask of success, fearing judgment, fearing the pitying glances. WTF?

But here's the twisted part, depression is a master of disguise, capable of hide itself behind ‘success', leaving us battling demons in the quiet solitude of our minds while we struggle not to crawl in bed.

Depression isn’t something you can just hack and be productive. Nor is it what I offer.

I won’t sell you a '5-steps-to-beat-depression' solution. Instead I want to share my ongoing journey and some non-revolutionary coping mechanisms that my neurologist advised but work:

1. Spend time with people you genuinely like.

Real question, when was the last time you really hung out with someone? Beyond of screen.

If you said recently, congrats move on to the next point

If you are like me and you are kinda embarrassed to answer the question. This is for you. Not only is it 100% free but because you are starting a business it is way too easy to say I will 'tomorrow' or eventually and then the day is gone or you missed an appointment and it's just you. You NEED to interact with people and I mean in person. Online sure? Something I have not done in a year minimum in person and it shows.

2. Don't be a vampire. Go into the light.

I don't know the science and I'm not going to pretend. What I do know is my neurologist has been badgering me about it and I usually walk before the sun so we miss each other. But look. Light is a natural mood regulator. I don't care what you do in the sun. You can go frolicking bare naked in nature, take a stroll, work outside, or sunbathe. I prefer the first option but that's just me. Anyway, just physically get out of your chair, close the screen, and step outside. No windows this time.

If you want to use the excuse that you can't -- I got you because I used that on my neurologist too. You can bring real light to your home. It's not quite the sun but works.

3. Your SOS person

Have a designated person you can rely on when you can't get yourself out of your slump. Some days will be impossible. Send a text, just let them know you need them. It's not selfish to reach out to someone when you are struggling. Friends want to be there for you - let them.

4. See a professional. No explanation needed.

I wish I could wrap this up with a neat bow, saying it gets better or that there's a clear path out of this darkness. But life's messy, unpredictable, and rarely the fairytale we imagine. Also that would be bullshit.

But here’s what I want you to take away: Depression isn’t a sign of weakness. It's not a business failure. It's just a part of my story, and perhaps yours too.

The untold narrative of entrepreneurship: One that's intertwined with personal battles, victories, and sometimes, defeats.

So if you're still reading this, here is another piece people don't talk about. What they are able to accomplish even when they are depressed. The fact that are still trying to make some progress shows your resilience.

Anyway my story, my truth, is not a tale of triumph over adversity, at least not yet. It's a story of resilience, of ongoing battles, of celebrating small victories, and acknowledging the power of vulnerability.

Thank you for reading, for allowing me a small space in your day. If this resonates or you want to just get your story off your chest, just DM me. We can just talk. No sales strategy. Just a conversation. Seriously.